2020 definitely started out with a bang for me, as you might be able to tell since I haven’t even started writing a New Year’s post until February. After a very enthusiastic start, I was shut down by a virus that sidelined me for three weeks as it slowly turned into pneumonia. Thankfully, I was able to get some antibiotics at that point and I am just as slowly making my recovery. But what a crazy start to the year.
I was so excited about this being an emperor year and everything that entails. The fiery spark, the burst of creativity, the manifestation of my ideas, all rolled into this archetype that I was excited about embodying. At least some aspects of this archetype, anyway. I have been listening a lot to Lindsay Mack about the Emperor and moving beyond the interpretation of this card as the patriarchal colonialist. It has helped me shed some of the dread I have been feeling about this being an emperor year, and helping to make it more about manifesting my vision through knowing myself and being very clear about what it is that I want to manifest.
I hate that I was so sidelined. I had definitely gained some momentum when it came to moving forward with my vision, and it ground to a halt quite quickly. And when you are sidelined for that long, it is easy to forget where your focus was and why. Now my focus seems to be changing somewhat, and even though I know on some level that each of these areas is related and I will come full circle to each, it makes it a bit difficult when I think about the focus that I had before I got sick.
Then I think about the “why” of it all. Why did I get so sick? Was the universe trying to tell me something? Maybe I was moving forward too fast. Maybe I was trying to do too much.
But sometimes it is just that we get sick. We have to slow down and leave our focus behind because we are human and humans get sick. It doesn’t have to be a message when we do. When we get better we pick up where we left off and continue moving forward with our lives. Sometimes it is a gift to be able to slow down like that. Sometimes it will drive us nuts and we will go back and forth to the doctor trying to figure out what in the world we are supposed to do to get better. Sometimes one thing after another happens while we are sick and we have to go to the doctor repeatedly because things just keep happening that make us sicker and sicker (yes, this happened to me). Then as we get better we move on and we keep moving forward.
I guess that is the message here. I got knocked down for about a month. But it is time to keep moving forward. It is time to fully embody that Emperor energy and step into my truth, slowly and steadily expanding and growing as I work to manifest my dreams and share my gifts with others.
Welcome to 2020.